Say So Long to the Sunday Scaries

The holidays have just kicked in, but are you dreading them? That’s practical and sensible. After all, there’s so much to worry about — a new variant of COVID, holiday get-togethers at the office which have been non-existent for almost two years, and the Christmas Eve dish your cousin always insists on bringing, even though no one eats it!

There’s a name for what you’re worried about, especially at work: The Sunday Scaries, a term coined by researchers at the University of Queensland Business School, Dr. Neal M. Ashkanasy and Dr. Marissa Kate Edwards. According to a recent LinkedIn study, more than 80% of 1,000 full-time workers admitted they get the Sunday Scaries and worry about the week ahead.

I’ve had the Sunday Scaries — how about you? The time when you worry about something that hasn’t happened yet, but you’re already upset?

But here’s the good news: Soft skills will help you dismantle the Sunday Scaries. Let me tell you how one woman created a long list of How tactics for days when she feels anxious.

Gaga Finds Her High Point

Say the name “Lady Gaga” and you immediately think of one high point after another. But you may not know her backstory of the low points. She struggled with anxiety and depression so much in her early career that she considered quitting the music business.

Gaga takes medication for her depression, which she complements with alternative healing methods. She said, “I started looking into Ayurvedic medicine. I started looking into mindfulness and meditation. I started looking into a mantra. I do acupuncture, I do cupping, I pray sometimes. I make music, I write poetry, I’m an actress now — that’s helped me a lot.”

She also thought through activities that were either joyful or draining. She ended certain alliances to support her emotional health, such as her fragrance line which required hours of exhausting meet and greets. She summed it up by saying, “I feel sad when I’m overworked, and that I just become a money-making machine, and that my passion and my creativity take a back seat. That makes me unhappy — it feels shallow. I have a lot more to offer than my image.”

How to Use Soft Skills to Say So Long to Self-Sabotage

Let’s be honest: Some conversations need forethought. However, the trick is to know when you’ve drifted away from planning strategy and possible tactics and fallen into the swamp of anticipatory anxiety. Getting caught in that swamp isn’t limited to people who have a clinical level of depression — it happens to everyone.

When you’re in the middle of the Sunday Scaries, you imagine the worst will happen in the future, or go back to the past, replaying decisions you did or didn’t make so you can avoid the same mistakes. That type of thinking reaches a fever pitch if you pair it with unrealistic expectations. In many ways, those unrealistic expectations — the feeling of never being able to be enough — are at the core of anticipatory anxiety.

But you can minimize your worries and upset by using the soft skills of discernment, creativity, and healthy self-esteem. That’s what Lady Gaga did. Did you catch the emotional intelligence and sense of self she used to make smart choices about where to invest deeply or let go? And all the ways she uses creativity as a positive outlet?

Let’s recap her list. You can either try some of her suggestions or use them as inspiration:

· Holistic practices and attention to diet, such as Ayurevedic medicine

· Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, and using a mantra

· Body work, like acupuncture or cupping

· Creative ventures, whether she is performing as a musician or actress, or inward pursuits like songwriting and poetry

· Reflection, where she makes intentional choices about how to spend her emotional capital

· Seeking medical support

There’s always going to be something to spark your nerves. So, make your own How list so you’ll be ready with two different ways to address the Sunday Scaries.

Say So Long to Self-Sabotage Series Recap

In the November series, So Long to Self-Sabotage, we’re talking about weeding out behaviors that might get in our way. Self-sabotage has a lot of faces. Sometimes it’s something big, like losing your temper when someone is pushy. But small, everyday things — such as limiting yourself due to an insecurity — can also be a block to achieving your goals.

You don’t need to wait until New Year’s Eve to have a clean sweep — you can start right now. Take charge of whatever gets in your way like the creative, wise CEO of your life — a Soul Boss. Here’s a recap of what we’ve learned:

1. Say So Long to Self-Doubts. Strengthen your confidence muscle instead of only feeling good when others validate you.

2. Say So Long to Avoidable Conflicts. Before your emotions get the best of you, own your approach.

3. Say So Long to Insecurities. Embrace your imperfections by recognizing that your unique approach and perspectives are a strength.

4. Say So Long to Powering Through. Leave pushing and pressuring yourself in the past and commit to feeling good.

5. Say So Long to the Sunday Scaries. Release anxiety mind chatter by practicing How tactics.

Today’s your day to weed out what needs to go. So, say farewell, adieu, and so long to anything and everything that’s holding you back.