Make the Uncomfortable Intention to Trust Yourself

It’s still early in the year, but have you already talked yourself out of some of the goals on this year’s intentions list? Don’t put yourself down — it’s more common than you think!

Getting a big vision can be the easy part. But it can feel crushing to come face-to-face with gaps in your knowledge or skill set. That’s where you start second-guessing, backing up, and maybe even crossing that goal off your intentions list!

But there’s an upside to finding a gap: You’ve just discovered the uncomfortable intention you also need to make. Let me tell you how a famous author put soft skills to work to conquer what might have stopped her.

Ina Finds Her Signature Style

That quote sounds like someone who just moved into their first apartment and suddenly has to cook all the time — right? Are you surprised to know that’s Ina Garten speaking? Yes, the person who has written a dozen cookbooks and owned specialty foods store, The Barefoot Contessa, for over 20 years.

In a conversation with Katie Couric, Garten admitted that cooking can feel like a puzzle, with plenty of trial and error. Some recipes come together quickly, while others take years to perfect. Over time, she’s improved her cooking techniques by learning from others, but she’s still far from a classically trained chef. However, being forthcoming about her hits and misses as well as her skill set — and even keeping a sense of humor about them — has become part of Ina’s signature style.

Three Ways to Kickstart Your Intention

* I’m scared about people’s judgy judgments

* What will my family say? They love to weigh in about whatever I’m doing!

* What if I’m just kidding myself?

When those comments kick in, turn to the soft skill of healthy self-esteem. Take a lesson from Ina’s story and don’t just admit that shortcoming — own it. No one does things perfectly when they’re trying something new. After decades in the food business, Ina’s still learning! So, inspire yourself like you would support others.

Can you imagine going back in time and saying to Ina Garten, “You’ve never owned a specialty food store before. Where’s your master plan?! Why do you think this will work?” Of course not! But that’s the way we talk to ourselves or let other people’s voices influence us. When those voices kick up, put them to rest with statements like, “I’m just starting,” “I love to learn,” or “I’m seeing where this takes me.”

If you’re going to make progress on your goals, you’ll also have a moment when you must make the uncomfortable intention to recognize where you’re being pushed to either learn or expand what you already know. However, you can overcome that discomfort. Here are three ways to start:

1. Make it fast by taking 30 seconds to declare, “I think big! I go beyond the expectations or achievements of others.”

2. Make it deep by taking 30 minutes to journal, “To reach my goals, I must learn more about ___.”

3. Make it real by pushing yourself to define a How step. Do something to get educated so you feel competent and confident.

Don’t let someone else’s insecurity or judgy judgment be the boss of you. Find your How and pursue what you love.

Soul Boss creator. Learn how soft skills solve hard problems at