Change a Self-Image Fail to a Soft Skills Guardrail
Did you hear about the virtual “High Five” award that went terribly wrong? A co-worker left receptionist Samantha Russell kudos on an online High Five board, recognizing Russell’s willingness to go above and beyond the call, especially since she was covering after a colleague’s departure in September 2021. The colleague wrote, “High five to Samantha, for continuing to be our frontline warrior of the office and continuing to [wear] the hats of two front desk workers in one. You are loved and appreciated greatly for all you do for us. Thanks.”
But the post vanished within 24 hours. Samantha’s manager took her aside, explaining they removed the award because the comments were inappropriate. The manager confided, “The rest of the office doesn’t need to know what’s going on with this. You do not do two jobs.” Case closed, or so the manager thought.
Russell took to Reddit to gut-check if she was being the jerk, and the reaction was swift. Others shared experiences with similar managers, and the thread became so popular that Newsweek called for a comment. Russell acknowledged the toll taken, stating, “It has been mentally and physically exhausting. For months I’ve been having stress responses, such as nightmares. I constantly hear the desk phone ring, even when it isn’t. It’s been brutal doing two jobs, and it’s worn me down.”
After a rough couple of weeks, Samantha’s decided to look for greener pastures. She said, “There were so many different comments [on Reddit], but they all meant a lot to me. The reaction really inspired me to move on to another job.”
Advocate for Yourself
As you think through the case study, can you see the soft skills at play? The everyday skills juggling life at the front desk are clear: Problem solving, communicating, and collaborating with others. But Samantha picked up a new skill after the square-off with her manager: Negotiating.
What could have been a disaster became an opportunity for a personal assessment. Cheered on and validated by friends and strangers, Samantha learned how to advocate for herself in an unfair situation.
Samantha’s story brings up an important misunderstanding about soft skills: They make you soft. Soft skills aren’t only for the days when things go well and everyone is reasonable. They’re also an effective tactic when situations sour.
It’s not weak to be kind to yourself in tough circumstances. There’s nothing soft about maintaining a sense of healthy self-esteem when others are unjust. It was by using those soft skill How tactics that Samantha Russell prevailed.
How Soft Skills Can Change a Fail into a Guardrail
In the July series, From Fail to Guardrail, we’re discussing how you can put soft skills to work to avoid mistakes. Learning from failures isn’t simply good-natured humility. You’re also setting up your future because you’re building important competencies like insight and self-awareness. Leaning on those competencies is how you avoid slipping up.
Soft skills aren’t tricky or complicated — they’re as easy as 1, 2, 3! Here’s the recap of what we’ve learned along with the breakdown of soft skills working as a What and How:
- Change a Smack Talk Fail into a Soft Skills Guardrail: Are you thisclose to losing your cool? Skip the throwdown by making wise decisions about what is worth the fight. That guardrail will keep your reputation in good standing.
- Change a FeedbackFail to a Soft Skills Guardrail: Are you on the receiving end of some crazy feedback? Keep your self-esteem intact by being agile and showing yourself compassion.
- Change a Fixed Mindset Fail to a Soft Skills Guardrail: Could your beliefs and habits use a refresh? Shake yourself out of a productivity rut through creative thinking and staying adaptable.
Failures are going to happen, but they don’t need to be the boss of you. Instead of doubling down, take that experience, put it in your back pocket, and keep it moving. Then, the next time warning signs and red flags pop up, take charge like the creative, wise CEO of your life — a Soul Boss — and course correct with soft skills and your personal guardrail.
